Letter to my coworkers and other employees of my boss

Dear all,

I thought I'd relay some information to you, so that you don't have to go through the trouble of finding out by yourself.

*The top shelf of the adult room should only be occupied by overnight rentals. I can't believe I have to tell you this. Isn't it common sense?*The counter area ( Read more... )

Okay, LJ Friends. Let's see if you know me that well. You might be surprised. Or possibly quite not. I am aware of my incorrect grammar. I do it on purpose.

If no one takes this test, I will be very sad and cry myself to sleep.


( Read more... )

I would like to show a new equation I thought up. For the mathmatically slow, (or the socially unaware) it may be hard to comprehend. But I will try to make it easy.

Men

Age 14 = Child
Age 15 = Child
Age 16 = Child
Age 17 = Child
Age 18 = Adult

Women

No tits = Child
Tits = Piece of meat

Thank you for your time.

I’ve been losing weight. Again. I remember coming down the stairs one day, and this woman who lives in the ecovillage was there. She had brought us some scones. She was staring at my waist, and when I looked down, I saw that the top of my underwear was showing over my pants. I sighed and said, “I’ve been losing weight.” She thrust the basket at me ( Read more... )

This race, which creates such beautiful music, such beautiful dreams, that ponders such deep philosophies, that colors the world with such magnificent cultures, such radiant spiritual insight; and this race, that destroys itself, inflicts such devastation and chaos, that hates with such passionate rage; the love that I feel for this race cannot be ( Read more... )

-10 FAVORITES ( Read more... )

So I get back to CA, realizing that I'm stupid and I only brought like three days worth of Paxil. I've got jet lag and I'm overall just plain depressed, because I ( Read more... )

Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kinda dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an "L" on her foreheadHey, senior deadline has passed, and I'm worried. I asked my adviser if it was possible to turn in my senior project on Monday (since almost every other senior I've ( Read more... )

Here is a profile of some of my friends, so people reading this journal have some idea who I'm talking about. If you happen to be one of these friends and believe that I have misrepresented you, please feel free to contact me, although I doubt I'm wrong, because I'm psychic. Oh, and don't be offended if you aren't "A", because they're in no ( Read more... )

It is NOT NICE to steal someone else's food, thus forcing them to resort to the vending machine in Securities.
If you do this again, I will slowly cut off each of your toes and feed them to you.

Sincerely,

The girl who had yogurt and cheese once, and now has a headache from low blood sugar.Suffice it to say, I did not get the food I needed today ( Read more... )